I just realized something.

Have you ever sat and thought about was was going to be your life a few years from now. I think everyone has at least once. Every time I have asked myself in the past where will you be in 5 years I have never come up with an answer. Matter of fact, thinking about it further there were moments that I could not tell you what my life would be like 5 days from the present. (this of course was before having my son) I would come up with the answers that were an easy way of looking at it- who knows were I will be 5 years from now, or with Jim... somewhere- instead of setting my path and creating a goal for myself. Having children will make you ask the question, and it is terrifying to have no answers.

Well, for the first time in my life I sat down and thought about it. 5 years from now I have a destination. 5 years from now I will have my bachelors in psychology (applied behavioral analysis). Hopefully I will continue on in my education and in 5 years time be on my way to a masters... I will have a real job, a good job that makes a difference somehow in this world- I will have my own place!!! Eventually afford to own a home not in 5 years but maybe when im like 40... any the way I am rambling here.

I have a destination. A path. GOALS! I am bursting at the seams. A plan was what I needed and it is what I created. I realize that I must now maintain wonder woman status for the next four years. But hopefully soon I can get some daycare to help me on the Evan front. And who needs sleep? I can sleep when I have the money to do so- and I can do it in my house! My schoolwork will get done while Evan does his. He will have a mom he can be proud of. I will be able to provide for him a home, an education, a future. I can do this and I know it will be worth it in the long run. I am proud of myself (as if you couldn't tell) and I can do this!